You Can Lose The Battle....

"You can lose the battle, and still win the war." 

And... if you have been following along with our tales, this adage might give you a clue as to what this post is about.

Yes, our dear Moonie.  "Moonie-Junie" - he would tell you that I call him that when I want to talk to him.  It's something just between him and me.

We have noticed of late that his eye was not looking any better during the first chemotherapy phase of his treatment (following two prior surgeries).  At first I thought his eye might just be angry from all of the trauma, but each day it gets redder and lumpier.  Each day it looks more like the tumor may be winning the battle.

Dr. Becky came to examine his eye yesterday, and, indeed, the tumor continues to grow.

Moonie is not his usual carefree self these days.  He turns his back on me whenever I approach... a good indication that he'd prefer to be left alone.  If you know Moonie, then you would agree that this in-your-face, friendly fellow is not himself.  Normally, I cannot enter his yard without him coming over to see what I might want.

I can only surmise that his eye must be terribly uncomfortable.  

And so, it has been decided that his eye must come out.  It's a big step, but the only way we have of preventing this tumor from spreading into his bones.  I am praying that it has not already done so.

So, yes, we have lost this battle, but we will stand beside our Moonie and do whatever we can to win the war.  

As for one-eyed horses...

They adapt.  There have been horses who have lost an eye and still gone on to participate in jumping and eventing.  I have no doubt that our Moonie will clear this hurdle in his life and go  back to enjoying normal life with his herd.  His eyelids will be sewn together and over time will heal that way.  At the end of all of this, he will simply have one eye that remains shut and is a little bit concave.  Otherwise, he will still be our strikingly handsome fellow.

Personally, I can rationalize through all of this, knowing that losing an eye is for the greater good.  However, I feel some sadness knowing that Moonie has more surgery ahead of him.  I hope that I do not seem melodramatic... but I love my animals.  They are family to me.  They count on me to always do what is best for them.  Failures are tough to swallow.


Dr. Becky would choose to do the surgery sooner than later, however, the instruments that she needs for this procedure have to be shipped in to the farm, and with the Christmas rush, that puts off his surgery until next week.  Until then, we have to bug him and keep up the chemotherapy in hopes that it at least slows the tumor down for the time being.  I'll keep you posted as time goes on.

Comments

Lisa said…
Oh no! I hope that he'll get better after this. And no you're not being melodramatic.
colleen said…
Moonie will definitely be in my thoughts a prayers. I have been following him for so long that he seems like part of my family and this news makes me cry. Knowing he has the best vet ever and the best caregivers is very comforting. xoxoxox
Sheila said…
Wishing Moonie the best and you, too. I can only imagine the worry you must be feeling. Wishing you and yours a peaceful holiday. I love catching up with you on your blog each morning.
Sheila
jaz@octoberfarm said…
i am so very very sad to hear this. i know exactly how you feel. i sure hope he will rebound once he gets through this next phase. i wish there was another solution but i know there isn't. hang in there and a big hug to you and moonie junie.
The JR said…
I'm so sorry. I know you are doing the best for him and that is all you can do.

He'll adapt and if that gives you many more years with this handsome fellow, it must be done.

Happy holidays to you and your farm full of animal kids. Take care,
Susan said…
Hugs and prayers for you and Moonie. Our animals are our babies, they depend on us for everything so I know how you feel. Not melodramatic at all.
Kacy said…
Is there a way to tell if anything has indeed spread to Moonie's bones before putting him through the eye removal surgery?
Farmlife is a delicate balance of tough love and tender-heartedness for our animals.

Merry Christmas!
This N That said…
This war is a must win! Xxoo
daisy g said…
So sorry to hear this. But I'd rather have a perennial-winking Moonie than no Moonie at all. Bless you all...
Jeannie said…
This news hurts my heart. I'll be sending up prayers for Moonie and all of you. Best wishes for a complete and smooth recovery.
billie said…
Sending all my best thoughts to you and to Moonie. Our Hannoverian mare Salina lived much of her 30-year life with one eye and she never had any issues turning out with her herd, being ridden, being lunged when younger, or making her way around the farm and the barn. The sweetest thing was that her missing eye still had blinking movement in the muscles and if you just stood and looked at that eye, you almost started to see it there again. Our two miniature donkeys would stand on either side of her as she got older, and if anything happened in the vicinity of where she happened to be, they would always get on her blind side and guard. I am sure your herd will do the same if needed.
Sonya said…
We are capable of so many different types of love and love of our animals is one of those. It is special in its own right, not always easy to explain and for some to understand. You are an excellent caretaker of your animals. Moonie will be back to his old self in no time at all.
Unknown said…
Praying for a successful surgery and speedy recovery. Animals do adapt ever so well to their circumstances. When our dog blew out his knee the vet said that in three days he would be a great three legged dog, then in three months he would start to use it again as scar tissue would have formed. He was absolutely right, that is exactly how it went. Praying Mooney adapts just as quickly. Lisa G in TN
Jody in Georgia said…
As one animal lover to another, my heart and prayers go out to you and Moonie. Prayers, too, for Dr. Becky as she undertakes this surgery.
Mary Ellen said…
Now you made me cry - I have rescue animals and I love them dearly - hate to see animals in distress - wishing Moonie the best - I am sure with your love and care he will adjust - certainly puts a damper on the Holidays - but we do what we must. Sending you and Moonie hugs...
Marcia LaRue said…
I am hoping that the cancer hasn't spread either ... with all of you, plus Moonie's herd, that big blonde boy will fare better then you can imagine! Lots of love pouring in from everywhere to surround him [and you] with such good energy ... how can it fail?
Wishing everyone at BHA a most joyous Christmas and looking forward to a New Year free of everything connected to 2020!!
littlemancat said…
Sending hugs and positive thoughts to you and Moonie. So very sad about his distress and yours.
Mary
This makes me so sad too. He is one of my favorites and I hate to think of anything hurting him. I know you and Hubbs will do whatever you think is best.
sheryl said…
prayers for your Moonie and for all those who are caring for him and loving him. I can tell he is in good and loving hands.
Karen said…
Oh damn . . . I'm so sorry for ALL of you. I was sure hoping for the best. You all put on a brave face - but this situation certainly hurts your heart. So on to the next chapter. Lots of love sent to Moonie and company:)
Alexandria said…
Keeping Moonie and your family in our prayers ❤️
Moggie said…
I see this as good news! When I read the beginning, I thought his condition had become untreatable, and that it would be a different outcome for Moonie. I follow so many differently-abled animals on Instagram, I know Moonie will come out of this great, and will still have all the things he loves in life – you and food. All the best for the surgery next week.
dustbunny8 said…
Pulling for your handsome boy and a hug to you as well. Our animals are like young children. When sick or hurting they cannot tell us and it makes it even worse to see. Hope a recovery will be one of the bright spots in the coming year.
Boni said…
So sorry to hear that! Makes me sad but I’m sure it’s for his good! Hugs & Prayers for a successful recovery!
Sue B. said…
Oh Sweet Moonie - Godspeed for a favorable outcome. And, to momma, no, you're not being to melodramatic. It's hard to love something so much and think
they may be suffering or going through something you can't kiss and make better. Prayer for Moonie, his caregivers and all of Bee Haven Acres.
Poor sweet Moonie. I knew with your first line, Bev, what you were going to say. I'm sad about that but know you are doing the right thing for him by removing his eye and trying to stop the cancer in it's tracks right now. I will pray that it works and that it has not traveled any farther in his system. May it all go very well and may he be back prancing and dancing in no time. Merry Christmas to you all.
Karla said…
Bev, so sorry to hear Moonie is in pain. SO hard to see our animals hurting. You are doing what's best for him. And as for living with one eye, oh yes indeed he can! I horse sat for a painted named Krystle. She had one eye removed for the same thing. That girl gave me a run for my money! One morning while leading her and her sister out to pasture, she rushed me and pushed through a gate (at 4 a.m. because I had a job that started at 7 a.m. at the time, and in the winter in Illinois, so it was dark, dark!) which led to an area with a fire circle, chairs, etc. No outside lights at this place then. Only the moonlight. And silly me, no flashlight, as we'd done this a hundred times, AND with no lead or halter. (they followed me with a bucket of food) OH boy. I took my sweatshirt off and tied it around her neck. She refused, as horses do, to turn around and go back through said gate to the pasture. Nope. Nope. So we picked our way carefully through this area back to her stall in the barn, avoiding a boat, stacked wood, stacked metal and other various and sundry things that accumulate around barns. She did just fine. I, however, was darn near exhausted from the stress, but this taught me a few valuable lessons. Always have a lead, a flashlight, and never ever drop your guard, because a giant horse does what it wants to do!!!!!
Lynne said…
You are not being melodramatic.
He is your “Moonie-Julie” . . .
He is yours . ..
Sad yes . . .
A plan is in place . . .
Caring about your boy . . . and you!