A Farm Day With Mrs. Murphy

(Today's "tail" is a little wordier than usual,
but stay with it....I promise it will be worth it in the end.)

In the early days of blogs, before we lived full time at the farm,
there was a favorite one that I would read.
It was written by a woman in England....
a woman that seemed to step right out of a Jane Austin book.
She dressed in feminine frocks and wore luscious pinafores of linen.
The photos on her blog were magazine worthy,
making me imagine a romantic country life.

I knew that if I lived on a farm, I would dress like that...
doing farm chores in long flowing dresses with beautiful aprons to protect them...
baskets of flowers on my arm...
gathering eggs and feeding horses, goats, and pigs.

I still imagine my life to be like that,
and occasionally stage a photo shoot resembling that
for the purpose of marketing a new apron.

But reality?
Well, reality is something different altogether.
Oh, how I wish you could imagine me as some romantic heroine...
but, that would be smoke and mirrors.
And most times smoke and mirrors fail.

Never did I imagine back then, when lost in the beauty of the English countryside,
that Under Armor would serve as the mainstay of my wardrobe,
with a dirty barn jacket and muck boots to accessorize!

Reality hit home last week....and sadly there are pictures as evidence.
Here is my tail:

Meet Mrs. Murphy

It was Thursday morning, a cold and cloudy morning on the farm.

So cold that the gator wouldn't start and I had to make do...
using the truck to do morning chores (carrying water and manure buckets).

As luck would have it, during the process, the buckets slid off of the 
icy truck bed and landed upside down in the middle of the lane...
leaving me the job of again cleaning up the same manure that I had just finished picking
out of the dry lot.

By afternoon, it had warmed up enough for the gator to start,
so afternoon chores were not such a big production.

Because we had dinner plans that evening, I did something I never do.
I set my hair in hot rolls and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head,
and headed out the door to start the work.
I had finished everything but feeding the goats.
With several cartons of freshly picked eggs, I parked the gator on the hill
between the goats and the chickens as I always do.

Off I went to the goat yard to feed the goats.
Bending over the first bowl, ready to pour feed,
I heard a sudden "thunk" from the direction of the gator.
I turned, horrified, to witness the gator rolling, driverless,
 down the hill towards the tractor shed.
The emergency brake had released on its own.

There was nothing I could do...
the world had suddenly gone to slow motion and I watched, helpless,
as my precious gator sped down the hill,
narrowly missing the tractor shed,
over an embankment ,
and into the trees.

I uttered a few choice words,
realizing that the freshly picked eggs lay cracked and broken in the dump-bed.
I also knew that the front of my go-to vehicle was gnarled, twisted and fractured.
It was.

 I ran to get the tractor from Becky who was busily mulching her bushes
with tractor buckets full of tanbark.
Becky had her camera...
and it was a good thing, too, for this sight was too funny to miss.
There I was all Ethel Mertz-like with broken eggs and crashed gator...
in my filthy barn clothes and curlers!

By that point, there was nothing left to do but laugh.
And laugh we did...
rip-roaring, pee-yourself, belly laughter.
And then I did the only thing I could do....
pulled that gator out of the woods and
called our favorite John Deere dealer Valley Ag and Turf...
who graciously brought me a loaner gator and took my dear Deere off to
the local trauma center.

The day was proof that Murphy's Law was alive and well at Bee Haven Acres.


daisy g said…
Oh my! What an ordeal! Hope your Gator is feeling better soon!
colleen said…
You told me the other day the gator was another story...never thought it would be that!! It doesn't look like any of the eggs broke and I thought ...how did that happen. Yours is the first blog I ready every morning and I enjoy it so much..It started out with frocks and pinafores ...that had me dreaming...Then the story took a turn back to reality. :) . Thanks so much for your posts. Have a great day!!
jaz@octoberfarm said…
hahaha.....the reality of farm life! i thought we were going to hear that the goats had all fainted when they saw your rollers! big snow headed this way. will you get it too? great game yesterday!
Unknown said…
You are amazing.. I probably would have been crying.... but you and Becky were pee-yourself, belly laughing.
Bee Haven Bev said…
I think I lost almost a dozen eggs...most remained in the cartons but had cracked. So....we had big fluffy omelets for breakfast yesterday and used the cracked ones! Thanks for your kind words, Colleen!
Bee Haven Bev said…
No snow as of yet...it can wait until closer to Christmas!!
Bee Haven Bev said…
Some days are so crazy that there is nothing to do but laugh. And that was just one of those days!!
Ah yes, the romantic country life :-) I used to live and work in the Bay Area and shopped at Nordstrom. Now there are days I look at myself in my chore clothes and just shake my head. It's not a pretty sight, but that's my life.
Patty Sumner said…
A far jump from layers of pretty ruffles to where you were... I guess reality does hit us hard.....So glad the gator survived and you too!! You still look great in your hoodie and rollers....off days make great stories and laughter too. Blessings!
mrscravitz said…
ROTFLMAO! With you! Sometimes, you do, Truly have to laugh! Oh by the way, Love the "rolled" look!
Unknown said…
Oh my gosh - I had to laugh. Laughing WITH you you understand! Such a horrible helpless feeling watching something driving on without us - I actually lost my car one dark morning out of my driveway - it's a rather long amazing story but now it's hilarious - not so much when I first went outside to find it missing. Hope you have a beautiful calm Thanksgiving!
Pam said…
Great post today, you had me dreaming about the lady in England then laughing so my husband was asking questions! Old nurse in Gold Hill Or.
Country Gal said…
Oh my I was laughing after I saw your laughing photo thinking to my self , that's life on a farm !
Hope your gator is fixed soon for you . Loved this post and photos and you look marvelous darling in your curlers muck boots and farm coat . My mum was always in a pinny doing farm chores when I was a kid on our farm . Hope they evening was good after a day like this . Thanks for sharing . Have a good day !
This N That said…
It's even funnier the second time around..Must be the picture of you in your farm girls' best duds and hair curlers trying your best not to pee yourself.....Imagine having to wash and iron all those petticoats..xxoo
happyone said…
Reality is never quite like the dream : ) Enjoyed your story!!
Ginny said…
OMG, I started to laugh the minute I saw your picture. Sorry but that's how I am.
Unknown said…
My husband still reminds me before we had kids I told him how much I was going to enjoy sitting with our yet-to-be children in the sunlight every day reading books together. Yeah, that happened once or twice :-)

Loved, loved, loved everything about this! Thanks for brightening my day! Hope that gator's not too broke!
This N That said…
I guess I forgot to "publish" yesterdays comment...Love the picture of you in your rollers trying not to pee your pants..Can you imagine washing and ironing all those petticoats??