Friday, September 6, 2013

Resume

To:  Kelloggs of Battle Creek
        Marketing Department

Re:   Advertised Position...Cover Model

Resume
Milford Redstar
The Barn, Bee Haven Acres, Central PA



Experience:

The Brooder House, Bee Haven Acres, April 2013 to June 2013
  • responsibilities included learning to fend for self
  • growth and maturation

The Frat House, Bee Haven Acres,  June 2013 to July 2013
  • held position of low man on totem pole
  • learned to dodge and weave, developed running skills
  • voice trained under Mr. Statler and Mr. Waldorf

The Horse Barn, Bee Haven Acres, July 2013 to present
  • head rooster
  • timekeeper, crowing at sun-up and sun-down
  • chief turkey herder
  • ladies man
  • coordinator of feline activities
Education:

Coop of Hard Pecks,
Pledged the Cocka- Doodle- Doo Fraternity, but was black-balled during rush week

Expertise:
  • Vocal proficiency
  • Well versed in the subtle nuances of pecking orders
  • Excellent sense of direction
  • Top notch managerial skills
  • Great people skills
  • Able to juggle multiple tasks, with well-honed time management skills


Dear Kelloggs of Battle Creek:

     Please consider Milford for the next cover model on the Kelloggs Corn Flakes Box.
This confident young rooster is quite photogenic and will work for chicken scratch!
For references, please contact this blog.

Sincerely,
Bee Haven Acres

PS:
I am still up to my eyeballs in concord grapes... and from just one vine that I had
left over and stuck in the corner of the garden!
In four years time that grapevine has covered half of two sides of the garden fence.


I borrowed a steamer/juice extractor from a friend and used it to make grape juice concentrate.


After two sessions, yesterday,
(and there are still more grapes to harvest)


I had canned enough concentrate to make 9 gallons of grape juice.


Can you believe it's Friday again?
This weekend is a quiet weekend at home for us.
The weather has become quite fall-like...
so it should be a terrific weekend.
We have special guests coming to the farm on Sunday...
will tell you all about that on Monday.
Have a great weekend...

Oh, and if you might want to serve as a character reference
for dear Milford...please let me know.
(And oh, what a character he is!)

18 comments:

jaz@octoberfarm said...

i hope milford gets the job. he sure is a looker! it is so cool that you made grape juice. have a good weekend and enjoy sunday afternoon!

Anonymous said...

I would like an application to join the Milford fan club please!

Cynthia in Denver

Cindy said...

Thanks for the morning chuckle! I love seeing all of that grape juice. For some reason our grapes didn't do well this year. But the other fruits made up for it, so I don't feel too bad:)

Jill Cooper said...

That is one handsome rooster and hope he gets the job LOL Wow, your farm grows amazing things! Wish I had that knack (of course I'd probably have to live somewhere besides hot muggy too much or too little rain Georgia and also not have a black thumb!) LOL

Lynne said...

Yay for Milford and wonderful Bee Haven Vine grape juice!

John said...

Seriously, you should mail that resume and modeling portfolio to Kellogs! Let's see if Milford can land a job there.

Junebug said...

Milford has my vote!!! Kelloggs marketing best pay attention!!

It has been raining cats and dogs here with "loud" thunder and lighting. I've got my fingers crossed it clears for the weekend so I can get out in the garden. Lots of tomatoes to cann if the rain doesn't destroy them all!

GO MILFORD!!!!

Anonymous said...

You do give me joy every day I read about the adventures on the farm your great sense of humour makes me happy.

Annie v.

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Oh surely Kelloggs will consider him for the position. They would be fools not to.

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Oh surely Kelloggs will consider him for the position. They would be fools not to.

missy said...

Mail that resume !! I'd be happy to give him a reference..You've outdone yourself...Your mind works wonders..Love it....and you
Have a fun weekend...

Nadine said...

: ) I am pretty sure he got the job! I bet that grape juice taste sooooo much better then the store bought kind.

Gayle from Oklahoma! said...

Hope it's gets the job so he can start paying his way! LOL

I love my steam juicer and doing grapes and dark plums this year was wonderful. We freeze the juice for drinking in the winter and the pulp became jam. One of the things I've done this year is set my big metal pitcher in a bowl and surrounded it with ice. Sometimes I've noticed my juice will taste too cooked and this helps with this problem. I can hardly wait for apple season!

Kim said...

That's the best resume I've seen. I'd hire him.

Country Gal said...

Milford your one handsome rooster ! Lovely photos ! Oh WOW ! lots of yummy home grown grapes . Thanks for sharing with us . The weather is fall like here to some frost in parts of the country all ready ! Have a great weekend !

Anonymous said...

Milford has turned into quite the looker!

Ellen in Oregon said...

Milford needs a petition taken up so we can let Kelloggs' knows just how serious his fans are about his becoming a mascot. Milford's only negative is that he may just be toooo good looking to be credible as a common barnyard rooster. In the meantime Milford could easily get a gig selling his head shots to glamor rooster calenders publishers & ask for his pay to be made in chicken feed to avoid paying taxes.
After working as a vocational counselor for many years, I have to comment that Milford's resume is better than 99% of the human clients' resumes that I reviewed. Milford is overqulified for many of the positions avaiable in today's less than stellar job market. I recommend he maintain his current employment at Bee Haven Acres, unless Kelloggs offers him a lifetime contract with benefits (Milfords' call) comensorate with his roostery lifestyle.

countrynmore said...

I purchased one of these this year. It really helped to get the juice out of our seeded grapes.

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