Friday, February 18, 2011

A Practical Guide

You may have heard what paleontologists found 
when they ran DNA tests on the skeletal remains of T. Rex.

The Tyrannosaurus Rex's DNA was most closely related to
that of the chicken!

And if you have had the opportunity to own a rooster,
you will definitely believe this to be true.


Anyone who has heard a rooster running up behind them
will admit that at least a tiny shiver goes down one's spine
at that moment...
and just a fleeting thought that one might be devoured in the process!


At the present time, we have many roosters.
And, amazingly, we have no problems with any of the roosters.


Now, I don't think that I am a rooster expert by any means,
but I have developed A Practical Guide to Roosters for those of you
who might be considering adding one of these handsome tyrants to your flock.

Here are a few highlights from my forthcoming guide...


A Practical Guide to Roosters

(Remember...you only need a rooster if you want fertile eggs.)
  1. Be advised.... roosters live for one thing and one thing only... procreation.  So, don't get in the way when a rooster is doing what he does best.
  2. Keep a high hen to rooster ratio (See number 1) or your few hens will be very stressed.  I have found that 20 (or more) to 1 works well.
  3. Don't be under the false assumption that you can bribe a rooster with food.  Roosters are only interested in one thing (See number 1).
  4. Never look a rooster in the eye.  This will be perceived as an act of aggression and he may challenge you to a duel.  You will lose.
  5. Never make chicken noises in the presence of a rooster.  For all you know, a little "cock-a-doo" or "doodle-do" from your lips could mean an invitation to duel.  Dueling with a rooster is not something you want to try.  You will lose.
  6. When walking toward a rooster, do not step aside, but maintain your course, and keep your eyes down.  Again, you would not want innocent actions to be misconstrued as a challenge. You will lose.
  7. Do not wear a red hat in the presence of a rooster.... he may decide that you, too, are a rooster and challenge you to a duel.  I repeat....you will lose.
  8. Never chase a rooster. (See numbers 4 thru 7.)
  9. If you have multiple roosters and not enough hens for a good ratio, sequester these roosters far from the hens.  Males can live together quite congenially if there are no females around. (It is true for every species that males will go to war to compete for the favors of a female.)  By themselves, males will spend the day happily snacking, loafing, chest-butting, and comparing "big fish" stories.


If you have roosters, you probably had a little chuckle.

If you are considering having roosters....
Be ye warned!

And for those of you who remember last summer's tribulations
 of Eileen and her Bumblefoot....

Eileen limpeth not!

Here she is proudly standing on both feet.
It was a long haul, but she healed just fine.


26 comments:

  1. Why do I have the feeling that you wrote this post from experience?
    Thanks so much for the early morning laugh! Love, love, love your blog; enjoy our PA warm weather today!

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  2. That was so cute. My favorite being the red hat comment. He just might think you are another rooster! LOL!
    Glad that your little Wyandotte hen is feeling better from her foot issues.
    Cock-a-doodle-doo!

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  3. Bev, this is awesome!! Hope you’ll link up with FF FRiday--it’s too good to not be there :)

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  4. Come to think of it, I have had a rooster on my tail and now I can see why I ran... T.Rex was after me.

    Love your rules!

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  5. I had a little chuckle and I don't have roosters! That is a funny post.

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  6. Love your post..I have no roosters but indeed got a chuckle from it..Tough to lose to a bird!!!

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  7. Oh how right you are about roosters, they can be meaner than a rattle snake!! And roosters get along well if they are together before they are full grown otherwise they will fight to the death!!

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  8. Ah, that was a good chuckle. Thanks! :D

    I haven't owned a roo myself yet, but the roos on the farms I worked at last year where really nice birds and tame as can be. Maybe that had something to do with rule number one. They simply had no time to bother with people since they had so many girls!

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  9. I love this post. The episode I saw on this (was it 60 Minutes?) said they hope to create a dino-chicken with some DNA process, in the foreseeable future. We have a fox that comes around here and I'd love to unleash my dino-chicken on him/her. Wouldn't that be fun?

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  10. Oh my, a dino-chicken. How scary is the thought of that. Do I see Jurasic Park come to life??? Ha!! Luckily, our Oakley and Sam are our fox chasers. They love to hunt and since they came to live on the farm, our losses have been much less.

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  11. You will lose! Haha. So true. I know the feeling of complete terror when I see my rooster running my way, plotting his attack. Thanks for writing this! I've been dealing with my incredibly mean/difficult rooster for a while now, and this made it not seen so bad (but he's still a stinker).

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  12. Your typical male!!!!! Need I say more!
    BTW is that white chicken called Phyllis? Nice hair day!

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  13. I do believe that I have been chased by a number of roosters over the years. Good post.

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  14. This just re-affirms why I don't have a rooster! I so recall a past post of Hubbs and your rooster duel. I do believe he no longer lives at the farm. LOL
    kpaints my white he is named Phyllis and for good reason!!

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  15. Two years ago we began our chicken journey with a dozen little balls of fluff. We had them in a new large cattle water trough IN THE HOUSE. Granted, they were babies and didn't smell and everything was new. ONE barred rock plymouth ball of fluff strutted out ahead of his cohorts every time. When he was old enough, he jumped up on top of the water trough and squawked at me. I knew we had a rooster! Sure enough. He was beautiful, that he was. BUT after twoo years, he was mean as a snake to coin a phrase. Long story short, he messed with the macho logger tree farmer and met with a shot gun. Personally, I couldn't be happier. Neither could the hens!

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  16. I love this post and we too have many roosters and you couldn’t have said it better. I laughed as number 1 takes precedence over all things--all things :) LOL So funny Bev!! Thanks for sharing this with Farm Friend Friday :)
    Happy weekend,
    Amy

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  17. Cute, duly noted! I love you blog!!!

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  18. Perfect guide for living with roosters! I confess, I think I've broken a couple of those rules before. I guess my free-range Naughty Rooster Boy could be considered sequestered even though he's the only one outside the coop.

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  19. Your posts always make me smile. What characters roosters are.

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  20. So Cute, Funny & True!!! I have alot of roosters too and only 1 mean on right now, a lil bantam (think my boys teased him and made him mean), the other mean ones we had went to freezer camp.

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  21. It is so true and after trying to make friends with said roosters in my chicken yard, I have found that no matter how nice you were to the rooster when he was a sweet little chick, nothing will make him not try to attack and they always know when you are not paying attention. I know why my grand parents always had huge family dinners with fried chicken for dinner.

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  22. Rereading my post above, thought I should clarify (just in case anyone was wondering LOL)...the chickens only stayed in the house in their brand new trough until the weather warmed up and their lovely hen house was finished!

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  23. I Love your blog-I found you on This Old House 2. Love your photos.

    Roosters are indeed funny (or terrifying!)

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  24. What a fun read! This Philly girl can only dream of chickens let alone a rooster, but I'm sure this is all sage advice:@)

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  25. LOL This is hilarious.. Love your 'guidelines.' Thanks for the advice, I will keep an eye out for attack roosters. :)

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