Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Addendum to Previous Post

It is with great sadness and tears streaming down my face that I write this post script. This morning we had to say goodbye to MoJo. He had another blockage, somewhere higher up in his urethra. I found him lying in his house this morning when I went out to do the morning chores. His back legs were stretched out and he was on his side...not the usual resting position. I ran up to get Becky to examine him and she determined that he was blocked again....and suffering much discomfort. He eventually came out of his house and tried over and over to urinate....with no success.

There is nothing more heartbreaking that having an animal in distress....looking to you for help....and not being able to relieve his suffering. Becky and I talked about all of the options....all of them being major abdominal surgery. Unfortunately, though, the end result will still be the same. For some reason, this little guy just is a stone maker. And at nine months of age, to have two bad incidents like this is not a good sign of things to come.

We made the incredibly hard decision to let him go...to euthanize him. Watching him suffer is heartbreaking. Putting him through surgery that he would not understand would cause even more suffering. And the sad thing is, it would not prevent further stones from occurring. The hard truth was.....no matter what we did now.....the outcome would eventually be the same.

Putting him down was very quick and quiet. He cried while Becky found a vein in his neck, but once a small bit of the pentobarbital was injected, he immediately fell asleep. A little more of the injection, and his breathing stopped.....a little more and his heartbeat ceased.

No more suffering, sweet Mojo. It is so hard to let you go, but harder to see you suffer.

I only pray that his time with Sissy and O'Malley yield offspring to carry on his sweet and gentle disposition.

There is a poem that my husband and I read on occasion....and is so appropriate for now....

Tis a Fearful Thing

It is a fearful thing
to love what death can touch.

A fearful thing
to love, hope, dream:

to be--

to be,
And! to lose.

A thing for fools, this,

and
a holy thing,

a holy thing
to love.

For your life has lived in me,
your laugh once lifted me,
your word was gift to me.

To remember this brings painful joy.

'Tis a human thing, love,
a holy thing,
to love
what death has touched.


--Anonymous

Here on the farm, we love our animals as part of our family. Losing them is hard. But to have had them and loved them is sweet joy....and what makes our lives full. And so, each time we open our hearts to another living being.....we know that eventually we will suffer the pain of loss. But the joy of loving makes life complete. It is the cycle of life....

21 comments:

countrynmore said...

Bev., Now I am in tears. I am so sorry that you had to see MoJo in such pain and that you once again had to go through the pain of putting an animal down.
When we had to put our dogs down, I cried uncontrollably, and I can understand what you are going through.

karen said...

Dear Bev, this is so sad, I too have tears in my eyes, you I know are balling. I am so sorry, he gave you sweets moments and you love him for that.

Farmgirl_dk: said...

I'm so sorry. Losing our animals is heart-wrenching and spirit- altering. You are a wonderful goat mama for acting quickly to ease Mojo's pain. I'm sorry for your loss.
The poem you shared is lovely and very fitting.

Dawn Dutton said...

I am very sorry. I will keep you close in thought and prayer today. Dawn

Bridget Minich said...

Bev I am so sorry. He was beautiful. Your decision was hard, but was the best for MoJo. Know he is having a grand time kicking his hoves up in heaven with no pain.

Love
Bridget

Joyce St John said...

How heart wrenching! He was such a handsome young fellow. Hopefully he will have have fathered some young ones to carry on his legacy. I learned very young growing up on a farm that death is part of life on the farm. But it is still painfull to lose a beloved animal, especially on so young. My thoughts are with you.

South Valley Girl said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this - I've had to have several cats put to sleep, and it just tears the heart right out of you to let them go, but it's our responsibility, as "their humans," to do for them what they can't do for themselves, and in particular to spare them endless pain.

Blessings to you for doing the right thing even when it's hard

Christina / SVG

South Valley Girl said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this - I've had to have several cats put to sleep, and it just tears the heart right out of you to let them go, but it's our responsibility, as "their humans," to do for them what they can't do for themselves, and in particular to spare them endless pain.

Blessings to you for doing the right thing even when it's hard

Christina / SVG

Anke said...

Dear Bev, I am so very sorry for your loss. It must have been heartbreaking for you to say goodbye. Hopefully, knowing you ended his suffering will comfort you a little bit.

Anonymous said...

so sad..very hard..he was a beauty but he's no longer in pain...you did what you had to do....

Mary Ann said...

Having just gone through this right before thanksgiving, i really feel your heartache. i am very sorry for your family's loss.

Ginny said...

Bev, I'm so sorry for you and your family, I have tears in my streaming down my face as I write this. It is so hard to lose one of the family, but you know in your heart you had to do what was right for Mojo. Take care.

Beverly said...

On behalf of Becky and myself and Hubbs, too, ....thank you so much for your loving words of condolence. Tomorrow is another day....the sun always comes up again. And life carries on.......

Jill in PA said...

Bev. I am so sorry to read of your loss.

Jill in PA

Teresa said...

I have tears in my eyes too. MoJo (well, all your animals and even you) have become a part of my family. I'll add my condolences to those above. Losing an animal is never an easy thing, but it is much easier than watching them suffer.
Love,
~Teresa

Life At Cobble Hill Farm said...

I am so sorry about Mojo. We too have an animal currently in distress. It's so difficult. I'm so sorry for your loss.
-Staci

Karen said...

I was so sorry to read about MoJo. It is so hard to lose an animal. As you said, it is the cycle of life. The pain of loss is just a part of it but all the happiness and joy they bring is so worth it.

Julie said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Think of the time you did have with Mojo. What a blessing that was.

Jayme, The Coop Keeper said...

My heart breaks for you. I can only imagine what it would be like to have to go through that. I just have chickens.

I'm so sorry.

Sheryl-lyn said...

Oh Bev:

I am so sorry about little Mojo!! My heart is with you all. XXOO

Aussiemade said...

Dear Bev, what a decision to make but made with love, Mojo, certainly wormed his way into my heart lovely little fellow.

I dont know who wrote the following
Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

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